Mama's Legacy

  There are just 11 short days to click this month.  All your clicks count double in October.

I can't believe how much I look and act like my mother. A few years ago, I would have run screaming from the room if you told me that.  Sometimes I still would like to do that.  Reality is, if you look at the picture on my side bar, you will see the reflection of my mother.  The only exception is the hair color.  Mine is still naturally brown with hints of gray, Mom's hair turned gray in her early 40's. 

I swore that I absolutely would not be like my mom.  Absolutely. I would not look like her, walk like her be as heavy as she was or sound like her.  You should never swear anything; it comes back to haunt you.

As Mom got older, you could see the kyphosis (widow's hump) in her upper back.  It seemed to happen in front of our very eyes. Then she started to wiggle.  I don't mean her butt or boobs, they were just about the only thing that didn't  move much. Her hands and feet would twitch and had this humming sound going on.  She wasn't really aware of the humming until someone would make her aware of it.  The two minutes later, she'd be doing it again.  And she had this annoying little chuckle.  The doctor took tests for Huntington's Chorea.  Thank goodness it wasn't that.  It was something called Familial Tremors.  I think maybe my grandfather may have had it as well.

Okay, so here's the deal.  I am my mother nearly all the way around ::sad face here::.  I have found myself with that irritating little chuckle down in my throat as hers was.  I am powerless to stop it.  My feet won't stay still. I don't know if I hum and I'm afraid to ask.

The scary thing is that my grown kids (on the odd times we get to see each other) have mentioned that I look like my mom and act like her too.  That's really frightening.

Then I remember the sacrifices Mom made for us.  She raised 4 girls alone.  She didn't work until I was 7 years old.  She took care of us.  The year I was 15, I realized that Mom had nearly shredded underwear because all the extra money went to me.  I cried when I found that out.  I bought her panties and bras for Christmas.  I don't know if they were even the right size.  I just know my mama cried.

She helped me through my unwed pregnancy at a time when girls just didn't do that stuff.  She gave her all to us.  And to some of her grandchildren.  She got huge tears in her eyes when we came to her and my boyfriend asked her to let me marry him.  I was 17 1/2 then.  She was there for me when the divorce was final and through the next two divorces.  She was an amazing woman.

I want to be like my mom!  I guess that when she died the day before my 4th husband, she went there first to greet him and show him around.  And she left a legacy.  I will take what happens, humming voice, twitchy limbs and that irritating little chuckle if it means I can be 1/10 of who she was.

So look at the picture again.  I have begun to grow into my mom.  I'm so proud. 

May the Lord bless you all on this fine Saturday,