Ret Hats and Water Massage

I honestly don't know where to start.  Robert and I decided to take up mall walking.  I need to get my heart rate up and my body weight down.  No matter how little food I eat, if I don't move, neither will my body weight.  I'm not unhappy, mind you.  I'll grow where planted if this is the way God wants me to be, but my cholesterol is up, blood pressure up and platelets down.  Gotta do something.

We took Andrea and began a brisk walk of the mall.  The Chinese massage people beckoned to me.  They know me.  The have these great chairs you kneel on to have your back, neck, head, sides. legs and arms pummeled.  It's wonderful.  The last time I had a massage was the day I broke my wrist.  I'll tell you - they aren't getting hold of my wrist until it's totally better.  That's it.  But my body was achy and I wished I could have that massage anyway. 

Instead, we kept walking.  On to the end, up the escalator (they don't have stairs!) and on for a turn at the top.  We passed a place that advertised Aqua Massage.  My body tingled!  Really!  I'm not kidding.  There was a man lying face down in this chamber where water pulsated over his body.  Between him and the water was a sheet of plastic that molded to his shape.  Now, I'm not sure I want others to see me molded in that way.  Oooh! Perish the thought.  Makes me laugh to think about it.  We walked on with a promise to come back on the return circuit.  We did.

You cannot believe how wonderful it was.  First I picked my music, then he adjusted the temperature and intensity.  I was given a controller to halt the jets at any spot I wanted and to change the intensity some.  Then the water started.  I'm not ticklish on my feet, but when the water hit them, I giggled.  From then on it was heaven.  Twenty minutes of moist heat massage just how I liked it.  They even sat Rob in a massage chair and let his feet sit on a foot massager for no charge.  Of course, you needed a spatula to scrape me out of there after 20 minutes.  I slept better last night than I have in ages.  I'm definitely going back. 

The deal is this:  for $50 a month, I can go every day if I like!  Cool, huh?  An hour of brisk walking followed by a wonderful massage!  That's what I wantfor Christmas.  I'm tellin' my honey! 

So today, we went to the doctor's office for my wrist.  And who was sitting there but two ladies my size and age in purple sweatshirts and red hats.  One was holding a stuffed bear with a red hat and purple boa.  It was fun to see.  I struck up a conversation with them right away.  I'd heard of these ladies.  Red Hat Society.  Brazen older ladies who care more about fun and living life to the fullest than about whether their clothes match.  Suffice it to say I am intrigued.

I got called inside, but Robert was stuck with the red-hatters for about 30 minutes.  By the time I came out, therapy order in hand, he had me just about signed up.  He thinks I'd look cute in a red hat.  Can you imagine that?  Cute I'm not.  Fortunately, cute is in the eye of the beholder.  The lady in charge handed me her card and asked me to give her a call.  Maybe I will.

What do you think?  Will a retired missionary fit into a society of women who wear purple clothes and red hats?