The last time I spoke to my mom, I had been up from Mexico to visit her and to attend my sister's 40th anniversary party. Mom had been diagnosed with cancer about 3 or 4 months before. There were unable to do chemotherapy, but did some radiation to see if they could help her out.
My sister wanted to try anything and everything. I was willing to let mom have quality of life rather than quantity. None of my sisters believed this would kill her very soon.
Anyway, I walked into the room at the nursing home where she had been sent after breaking her hip and having surgery. She didn't heal at all well. I'd seen her several times over the few days we were there. Each time was devastating for me because Mom could no longer talk and appeared to be in a great deal of pain. This morning, a Monday, I wanted to see her before I went back to Mexico. My sister had told me that she was going to take Mom to Arizona with her. I hugged Mom oh, so carefully and told her that I would not be able to come again before she was moved to Arizona. While I was speaking, a strong hand reached out and pressed into my abdomen 3 times. I looked up. Mom's face was so peaceful and she appeared to be out of pain. He blue eyes bored into my brown ones. "You're going home instead, aren't you Mom?" I asked. She nodded her assent and smiled at me.
"Okay, Mom. I'll look for you when I get there." She smiled again, holding my hand tightly for a few moments. I left and never saw her again. She was gone by Friday.
My mom never looked more beautiful than she did that day. She had surrendered her broken body to Jesus who heals us all and was ready to meet him face to face. As much as it still grieves me to speak or write of this, I know I will see her again. She will be whole and transformed into such beauty that I cannot imagine.
This time of year is hard for me because I miss my mom fiercely. I was the youngest of 4 girls and years younger than the other three. Mom and I were bonded together in a very special way. All and any disagreements and differences that we had through my rebellious years had passed away long before my mother died. I'm sure it was the same for my sisters.
I pray this Mother's Day weekend that you spend time with your mom if it's possible, that you remember the good times with her, no matter how few and if she's living, tell her you love her, even if you are carrying around some resentment. You will never regret bringing sunshine into her life.
Be blessed in the Lord today, Penny
20 comments:
Your entries are always so lovely Penny. I'm so glad you were able to see your mum that one last time. My mum died twenty eight years ago, we never stop missing them do we? Jeannette xx
What a beautiful entry. I love visiting your journal! So sad about your mom...but I'm glad you did get to see her at the end of her life. My mom has been gone since 1994 and I miss her each day. I don't think we ever do stop missing them. Their absence becomes more tolerable as time passes...but not much. Enjoy your daughters on this special weekend.
Pamela
Beautiful.
That was beautiful Penny. A very good reminder to me that I need to make every effort to spend more time with my mom. God bless you and I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day, along with everyone else whose mom has gone on ahead.
~~Gwynn
isn't it great to know you will see her in heaven?:) wonderful entry Penny just wonderful
Deb
Penny,
Thank you for reminding me of what a true gift it is to have a mom that it still living. I take my mom for granted way to much. But most of all, thank you for reminding me of what a blessing it is to know that my mom and I will be in heaven together because of the love and grace of Jesus. I will keep you and your sisters in my thoughts and prayers this mothers day.
Hugs,
Holly
you know it pains me sometimes when people talk with such love about their parents. i love my parents very very much and did everything in my powers to get that same love back but really never did. my dad is gone and its too late and my mom is still here wth us but in bad health but even though she has soooo many health problems it still hasnt changed anything when it comes to seeing me like she does my sibblings. and my sibblings never had that deep deep love that i have always had for my parents. i just dont really get it. in the last year or so though i have given up. the same kind of love that you normally have for a family member has vanished from me. i dont hate her or dislike her. i just dont have any more feelings for her or my sibblings. i have given up trying. she had a very serious surgey back in the last of jan. doctors didnt think she would really come through it all and if she did they said she would need at least six weeks to be with someone and my sibblings never did step up to the plate to say she could come to their homes but of course i did and she was sooooo mean to me and my husband and youngest daughter like she normally is that she ended up only staying about three weeks. it was becoming a nightmare. she begged my sister to let her come stay the next three weeks with her and my sister still said no way. i know though that i couldnt really let her come back here and cause such a nightmare again if she needed to be with something and that brings me a whole lot of gulit but i just cant help it no more. i couldnt put such trama on my husband and daughter no more. i feel gulity also that i have no desire to spend no time with her but the pain and hurt that her and dad has brought on me has like numbed my feelings toward them. it is like a sheild over my mental well being or something. i just felt the need to share this cause i feel sad when anybody talks about good times with their parents. something that i have dreamed for all my life. debbie.
Your entry is of pure love and affection - a wonderful thing. Thank you for sharing your mother with such eloquence.
Be well,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage
Happy Mother's Day to you Penny!! Hugs,
Lisa
*tears* wish I could call my mom right now.. but its late at night lol thanks for the reminder and may you be blessed this Mother's Day.
Much Love,
Mary
very beautiful and moving Penny! here here!
Ilove the tulips too!well I do miss her! I do care about my stepmom too !
Happy Mothers Day!
nat
very beautiful and moving Penny! here here!
Ilove the tulips too!well I do miss her! I do care about my stepmom too !
Happy Mothers Day!
nat
Oh, that made me a little teary.
I will see my mother and your entry has made me just a little bit more thankful that she is still amongst us though she has her problems.
If you want to see what my mom looks like, look up the work NICE in the dictionary. She's the nicest kindest woman I've ever known. I feel not only fortunate that she is my mother, but it's been a privilege to know her as a person . . . her mother did an incredible job . . . but don't get me started on my wonderful funny grandmother!
Thanks for sharing! Hugs,
cyn
http://journals.aol.com/cyndygee/PositivePals
I wish very much that i could see my mom today....i havent seen her since 1997 and that was for 2 days and before that it had been 13 yrs. I can get so sad.
I am so grateful you were able to experience what you did with your mom. She loved you so Penny. She trusted you enough to let you know she was going home to God. I will have you in my thoughts, as always, on Sunday. You are one of the best moms i have ever known.
Love to you,lisa
Sounds like a wonderful moment between two women of faith. May God bless you this Mothers' Day. - Barbara
http://journals.aol.com/bhbner2him/LifeFaithinCaneyhead/entries/1946
I want to wish you a very Happy Mother's Day.
This was such a beautiful entry for Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day to you~
Marie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariebm56/PhotographsMemoriesToo
Happy Mother's Day!!
Penny---I hope you had a good Mother's Day... Thank you for sharing your beautiful story about your mother. Julie :)
Happy Very Belated Mother's Day to you. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
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