Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Trying to Soar

                           

I am so grateful that I got my lazy Sunday the last time I wrote an entry because things around here have really changed.

Monday morning the 30th Rob had a doctor's appointment.  It was routine with the exception that the doc changed one of his medications.  At the pharmacy later, we picked up the prescription.  While I finished paying, Rob was headed out the door.  I heard a loud crash . .  . I knew it had to be him.  He was having a grand mal seizure just 20 feet away.

Guys, I've seen seizures plenty of times.  It was agony  for me to watch my husband.  The personnel at the pharmacy were great.  Before I could even think, they had called 911, brought a blanket and paper towels for me as I sat there with him.  The paramedics came and took over.  I sat for a while then allowed a paramedic to help me up.  Andrea and I couldn't ride in the ambulance.  I had to follow.  I hadn't really been at the wheel in about 6 months.  I got in the car and watched as they closed the doors on my beloved.

It was devastating to see just that last little picture in my mind.  The last person I saw go away in an ambulance was my late husband . . .

We waited 5 1/2 hours through tests, x-rays and a CT scan.  After an IV fluid bag of sodium, they allowed us to leave.  I had to drive home in darkness.  I did well.  That was a true milestone for me.   I know it was because I am always safe in the arms of Jesus.

                             Next day, I also had an appointment with the doctor.  He made some changes to my medications and we talked a bit about Rob.  On Wednesday, I had to see the Neurologist in the morning and Rob had to see his doc again at 2:15.  I also kept my promise to get Andrea to TaeKwondo on time.

Since Rob's seizure, some part of the roles here have changed.  He is going to lose his drivers license for a minimum of 6 months to a year - maybe even longer.  I do hope not.  Although I used to feel such freedom when behind the wheel, now I am uncertain about myself.  So far . . . I'm doing great.  I'm not ready to fly like an eagle, but I'm looking into how to take off.

At the neurologist on Wednesday, I got results.  The results of my MRI showed bulging of all of the discs in my lower back down to the bottom of the spine.  They weren't pushing toward the spinal column, so no surgical solution was indicated.  Next were the results of the nerve and motor conduction tests.  I'm not too happy about the diagnosis.  I have chronic Polyneuropathy.  It affects the nerves and muscles of the extremities and gets worse over time.  The letter description of the diagnosis is CIPD.

So what's next?  Someone better buy me wings because I am determined to soar like the eagles above.  "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31 

I am going to pick Andrea up from school in a little bit.  Rob and I seem to be working out what we each can do.  Share the burden as you will.  We have a deep abiding love given to us by God.  Together Rob, Andrea and I are woven together like a vine reaching upward toward the light.

J-Land is my favorite place to come.  Here I can meet new people and share my life with them.  I love youze guys - sending blessings from the Lord for you.  Stay out of trouble and I will, too. (well . . . do I hafta?)

      

 

 

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh how scary that must have been for you!  Seems like you got your lazy Sunday to prepare yourself for the rest of the week!  If anyone can soar over this-you can Penny!  God Bless you and your family!  Julie :)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes we can find strength where we thought there wasn't any. I hope things will work out well for you with all these new changes!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Penny & Rob, you both find your strength through your belief and faith in God.  Let us help you with the moral support and prayers your way.  I do believe that you will soar just as you want (and need) to.

Anonymous said...

You've been through so much, and look at you!  You're made of stronger stuff than you realized!  It took great courage to get behind that wheel, but amazing what we do in the midst of a crisis for those we love!  I hope you'll be able to relax and get some rest.  I can't imagine the pain with your discs, etc.!  I have a thinning disc that acts up now and again.  Bless you all!

Anonymous said...

(((((((HUGS)))))))  stay strong.. the Lord is doing a mighty work in your lives right now.  Pushing you on the ledge like a mommy eagle.. are you ready to fly?  And when the time comes to jump, take that plunge of faith.. you will soar.

Praying for you guys.

Much Love,
Mary

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))))))))))))You are a brave person for having to drive after you havent in a while.I am glad your Husband is ok.He will be in my prayers and you and the whole family.Have a good night.

Anonymous said...

Amazing how He can help us rise up and do what we thought we could not anymore when we really need to!  Praying health and blessings to you both!!  -  BArbara

Anonymous said...

Penny, i am so proud of you for picking up the driving for the family!  You are something else? :)  

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

Anonymous said...

How scary to witness Rob having a seizure! I'd have been so shocked!  I'm glad you are finding the strength to do what needs to be done.
Thank you for the lovely comment you left in my journal.  
Have a good day tomorrow..
Pam

Anonymous said...

What awful news, I hope he is feeling ok now.  The main thing is that you have each other whatever life may bring your way.  Thinking of you and hoping that you can get the strength to manage all the driving now.  Hugs, Terry x

Anonymous said...

I have faith in you that you will be able to do what needs to be done. With a love such as yours and Robs you two can do anything you put your mind to. Keeping you in my prayers on the smoke! (Hugs) Indigo

Anonymous said...

If anyone can soar Penny- it will be you!  God Bless you and keep being your strength and comfort!  Love Carolyn :)

Anonymous said...

My brother has a friend who was in a bad motorcycle accident. He now is subject to Grand Mal seizures. He's had a few at our house.

The first one's are terrifying, but you get better at handling it afterwards.

I have another friend who has Petit Mal seizures... a pure fugue state. He goes into this state at the local bar, and everyone in Monponsett (my old town) knows to just make sure that he doesn't fall, and that he'll be fine in a few minutes.

You can sort of laugh at these type of seizures, as they are less frightening than the Big Bad. Frankie will come out of his seizure nd get right back into the beer/weed/cocaine, too... in fact, it is said that the seizure actually revitalizes him somehow.

The funny part about my seizure-prone friends is that they are both pretty strange to begin with, and EMTs invariably think that their patient is far worse off than he actually is. "No, Jimbo always talks like that," we say.

I was knocked unconscious recently, and the doctors thought I was hurt more badly than I was because the guy who found me reported that I was "talkin' funny" as I woke up. My husband arrived at the hospital to inform my doctors that I sometimes lapse into my native French when I'm still half asleep. I was released like 30 minutes after.

Anonymous said...

You two will get through this... already you are sharing the burdens of your own self-care. The pace will no doubt be slower, but you can do this. And it won't be too long before Andrea gets her license, right? Well, maybe a few years. Don't forget to call on your friends and neighbors ... I never mind when my neighbors call me for help.. I have called on them. It's what we do best in times of great need. Take care. I'll be praying for both of you. Bea

Anonymous said...

Dearest Penny,
God Bless you both and May Rob get well soon I pray.
I am so sorry that this happened Penny. to eb honest, i am grateful taht you are standing so tall in your boots! you go Girl!
love you, natalie